What's Up in Sherrice's World?

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Today, I’ve had the pleasure (well, not exactly) of watching 180. It’s been described as an award winning, shocking documentary. Of course, that’s a matter of opinion. Ray Comfort is an evangelical Christian who interviews average people on the street to spark conversation about Christianity. You may have seen Ray on Way of the Master with Kirk Cameron. I’m not a fan of this show because I disagree with fear-ridden evangelism tactics. Why? Most people who become Christians out of fear tend to live extremely legalistic lives and never experience the true love of God. There are others who live a fearful life and rarely seek experiences outside of the evangelical church. In other words, they don’t have a free thought. They’re afraid to experience the joys of life in fear that they might backslide and go to Hell. What a sad way to live life! Loving God comes with a spirit of freedom and liberty, not a life of servitude based upon the fear of eternal damnation.

Even though I don’t see eye to eye with Mr. Comfort, I admire his dedication to the cause.  In the documentary, he parallels the Holocaust to abortion to convince people to adopt a pro-life perspective. As an advocate for the rights of women AND children, I’m not a fan of abortion. At the same time, I’m not a fan of fear-based evangelism. You know, the Get out of Hell Free Fire Insurance. Making people feel like total scum bags for the bad decisions they make only adds more guilt and shame to an already jacked up situation Instead, I believe in equipping people with unbiased information and putting the decision in their hands. I find it useless to pump people full of a belief system they may not share or even understand.

No matter what you believe evangelism, the Holocaust, or abortion, be mindful of how people arrive at the decisions they make. Not every woman in America is using abortion as birth control because there are a handful who do. Try talking to them and get to know their story. Offer your prayers and support versus your religious ideologies and judgement. You’d be surprised how open they might be to listen to your perspective on the issue if you approach it from that vantage point. Maybe someone should tell Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort that.

Over the past year, I’ve reflected on the great honor of raising two more African-American boys to be great men. Having my first child at nineteen was an experience I’ll never forget. With the same enthusiastic spirit, I’m charging forward with my husband to embark on this endeavor with the twins. Thus far, it has also been an experience I’ll never forget. So, what will I do differently this time? Sit down, my friend because you’re in for a great surprise.

I raised Brian to love God and work hard. My constant message was you can be whoever you want to be because all things are possible if you trust God and act on your dreams. This blind faith helped us both through trying times when cash was low.  When I earned a Master of Business Administration, we were blessed with a variety of opportunities that improved our financial situation. Brian loves to tell the story about being “hood rich” when he was in seventh grade. We were even able to be a blessing to our family members and friends. Then I met Fred and we married, making life even better.

Lately, I’ve been working hard to free my mind from the legalistic lifestyle I adopted over the years. No longer bound to a schedule of events, I’m taking the time to learn about my ancestors. That’s important for me because I used to believe discrimination didn’t exist and it was all in the imagination of those who claimed to have experienced it. I thought slave days were over, so White Americans were beginning to accept us like never before. I had a rude awakening when I watched my dark-skinned son and his friends being followed by police officers when we went to a local mall. The young men were being orderly and actually had the cash flow to shop in any store they liked, but they were still considered potential shoplifters. Since my complexion is lighter than his, they didn’t connect me to him and assumed he was roaming the mall without parental supervision. You know I intervened quickly. He’s also been pulled over for infractions that weren’t legitimate on a number of occassions. I guess it’s hard to believe that a dark-skinned young man blasting music might actually OWN the car he’s driving free and clear. These are just a few examples of the battles we fought.

As a result of these experiences, the nature of my writing has changed. In fact, my entire life has taken a turn for the better. Especially when I was smacked in the face by the realization that I gave birth to two more dark-skinned young men. I refuse to stand back while the world plan’s their demise by the time they reach third grade. The prisons are full of African-American young men to give the state or private owners a source of free labor. The workplace is full of complacent brown men who rarely get past middle management for whatever reason. The streets are full of mentally ill, addicted, and drug-selling young men who would have turned out entirely different had they been told the truth about who they really are. Now, I dedicate my time to educating those around me about the truth. I’m passionate about us knowing who we are, where we come from, and how we can make a strong contribution to the world. I encourage you to stay tuned for more.

Rating: 4 Stars

Who knew that Wilberforce University used to be a hotel resort where slave owners vacationed with their mistresses. Not just any mistress, but that slave mistress that lived in the big house right up under the wifey’s nose. In fact, sometimes the wifey went along for the ride, too. Can you imagine vacationing with your hubby and his mistress? No way! Dolen Perkins-Valdez did an excellent job capturing the spirits of the various women in writing. One woman represented those who thought they loved their slave masters. Another woman represented women who deplored their owners. The others were merely existing to survive, not feeling one way or the other about the situation. That’s the numbness that slavery brought to the lives of many. Even the slave men had a story to tell. This book was chock full of action and drama that the author made so realistic. I highly recommend this novel to those who enjoy slave narratives and/or historical fiction. You may get angry with the situation, however, I promise you won’t be disappointed with what you read.

Rating: 5 Stars

What do you get when you combine growing up in the South, 80’s movies, and an ecclectic protagonist who’s trying to find herself? 32 Candles by Ernessa T. Carter. Carter’s witty writing style along with her ability to create a mind movie with each scene makes this literary work stand out from all the others. Davie’s adventures are so unpredictable which is refreshing in this day and age when most writers follow the same genre formula that leaves no room for surprise. I highly recommend this book to fiction lovers who appreciate a writer with an uncanny sense of humor and the ability to make words jump of the page so that the characters come alive.

Rating: 5 stars

Each one of us have a different perspective on how far we’d go to protect our family. In her sophomore novel, Dasaya Cates, Bloodlines, the Lang clan answers this dilemma as they continually design their own brand of drama. The family has amassed a fortune over the years and will do whatever it takes to keep their riches out of the hands of money hungry scoundrels. Lena Lang, the pit bull matriarch, has a tight clamp on her kin. In her efforts to protect them, she tends to shake out their very lifeblood, bringing out their worst character traits. The decisions they make will simultaneously amaze and appaul you. The drama in this Atlanta family will put you in the mind of the Colby’s of Dynasty, the Ewing’s of Dallas, the Newman’s of Young and the Restless, or the Forrester’s of Bold and the Beautiful. Whichever family you relate to the most, you will find Bloodlines to be an awesome book. The complex characters, colorful setting, and lively scenes will keep you turning the pages. You will be finished before you know it. I strongly encourage you to buy your copy today. Click here to make that happen.

Hello World! Being on maternity leave has given me the opportunity to watch a variety of episodes from the four seasons Lincoln Heights. When this show was on the air, it was one of my top five shows of all time.  It’s about the family of Eddie and Jen Sutton, who move from a California suburb to a former crackhouse in Lincoln Heights, were Eddie grew up . Together, the Sutton family braves the woos of a middle class family living in the ghetto.

Even though we live in the suburbs, this show was so inspiring to my family. We admired their tenacity to stay together and never give up in the face of adversity. What a contrast to the typical African-American shows we’ve seen in the past. Lincoln Heights is the epitome of what it means to be a family involved in the community, striving to succeed and leave a legacy for the future. Too many times, we’ve stood by and allowed African-American shows to be cancelled for no apparent reason. This time, let’s stand up for our right to have shows that reflect our lifestyles and needs. I propose that we bombard ABC Family with e-mails, phone calls, and letters to demand that this show is brought back on the air. The network leaders need to understand that we will not tolerate this any longer. In the meantime, feel free to post a comment to share your favorite episode and what you enjoyed most about the show. I would love to hear from you.

It is with great pleasure that I introduce my friend, fellow author, and guest blogger, Dasaya Cates, a fresh voice in the world of contemporary fiction. She primarily writes dramatic fiction and suspense; however Dasaya has a flair for sharp humor, as evidenced by her first novel, The Shark Pool. She is engaged in marketing herwork to a variety of audiences and is herself an avid reader. Dasaya is also a blogger and freelance writer. In addition, she frequently takes on technical writing projects, since she has more than ten years of experience in this area. Dasaya works as an instructional designer for a large company, so she is always writing. She is an Ohio native and alumna of The Ohio State University. In her spare time, you can find Dasaya cooking and baking, travelling, and working out. She is a member of the She Writes community online. You can find her tweeting @dc8s and on Facebook. To learn more about Dasaya, visit www.dasayacates.com.

“How many half truths did I bear witness to/’Til the proof was disproved in the end”? – “Holy”, Nichole Nordeman

One of the most critical parts of a Christian’s life is prayer. Yet it’s amazing how many don’t pray, and that goes for pastors too–surveys have proven that they are so busy mentoring, teaching, and otherwise leading their congregations, they have seldom time for prayer. My thoughts today aren’t on making time for prayer, though it’s an important foundation, but on our Christian beliefs on how God chooses to answer prayer.

Christians are very good at creating these “truths” and packaging them into wonderful little clichés until they’re “disproved in the end.” We have them for just about everything, you know. And of course, we have one for prayer! We all struggle with unanswered prayer, there’s no doubt about it. I’m sure it’s been said to you once or twice, “God answers prayer three ways: ‘Yes,’ ‘Not now,’ or ‘No’.”

I cringe.

Did you envision the face I made? I make that face for a few reasons. First, I am a Christian and I used to believe that. Secondly, I think about all the new Christians who are exposed to this bad theology. And finally, I cringe because there are so many of us who lack understanding, myself included, but the great thing is we can ask for wisdom … and get some. I submit that this is definitely not the way God answers prayer. How dare we ascribe such simplicity to the Mighty One who formed the Earth, considering the topography of this land, its water, and who thought to make the air different in Chile and in California? Come on, now. But if I had to compare apples to apples on this neatly wrapped Christian cliché, I’d say God says, “Yes” or “Wait.” Often we think “wait” means unanswered, but God tells us that while we are even speaking, he hears and answers (Isaiah 65:24).

I think what we interpret as “No” is really God’s “Wait” or his yellow light. The God who is just waiting to show us compassion (Isaiah 30:18) wants to change our hearts. The prayer that we pray changes. The thing we ask for but don’t need changes. Our perspective and vision morphs into what God wants for us so that we become in line with Him and then … green light. The Yes we’ve waited for is loud and clear. What I’m saying friends, is that isn’t a “No” but God’s silence, invoking us to seek and pray more.

And now to appeal to the bullet point lovers (like myself) let me sum this up:

A “no” answer doesn’t eliminate our freedom. God made us this way. He wants us to love Him with our whole hearts and chooses to limit Himself in His authority (I love this!) in that He will not force us to do His will. Instead, He creates a desire. But if you’re dead set on quitting your job and moving to San Francisco when it’s not in God’s plans, you’re free to go on and do it. God knows our hearts, so why would He give us a futile “no” if our flesh has already decided to proceed? I doubt God would waste such time. That certainly doesn’t mean He can’t turn it around for our good if He chooses to.

“No” doesn’t necessarily change our hearts. An offshoot of the above. I love sweets. When I was younger and candy was five, ten or twenty-five cents, a dollar could get you a whole big, bulging bag of treats like Now and Laters, Boston Baked Beans and Lemon Heads so sour they’d make you pucker. If my mother had let me eat the whole bag, I probably would have tried. As such, she had to assume authority over said bag. Just because she said no didn’t keep me from looking at that bag and longing for a Jolly Rancher. Same with us. The thoughts we keep turning over and over grow stronger and rarely would a “no” stop us in our tracks.

God’s silence (the “wait”) leads to DIY which leads to desperation. At times, we end up right where God wants us. We get so uncomfortable the only way to turn is to Him where we can get real answers. Usually, I’ve found, this is a result of a DIY. One of my favorite shows is Renovation Realities where people attempt to remodel their homes with no experience. Usually, they screw it up pretty bad and have to call help at some point. That’s what we do. We think we get a green light because that flesh is driving us and we have to end up calling help: the Father. We’re desperate. Funny how only then we can hear and see clearly. Our heart changed.

There are a lot of things us Christians believe, some of which can completely derail us in our walk. We have to get the whole truth and nothing but the truth, and that can only come from careful study of God’s Word followed by prayers for discernment. This is a great plug for my pastor’s upcoming series here–a new series entitled “Myths Christians Believe” is starting April 30 and if you’re in greater Columbus, we’d love to see you. Details at vineyardcolumbus.org. Keep disproving “truth”!

Is Chick Lit dead? Who knows? Well, I do! Check out my guest blog post on author Dasaya Cate’s blog – http://www.dasayacates.com/index.php?option=com_wrapper&view=wrapper&Itemid=54. Dasaya is the author of the Bloodlines, an awesome African American fiction book that will knock your socks off. She also authored Shark Pool, a satirical chick lit novel that made me rethink my career, my life, and ambitions. Enjoy!

The fourth quarter of the year has been full of change for me and my family. The amazing thing is that it’s not over yet. Even still, we’ve been navigating through so much change. Some good changes, some bad changes, some happy changes, and some sad changes. One thing is for sure. We were given the gift of change and have responded in a number of different ways. What I want to share with you are the various lessons I’ve learned along the way. I also encourage you to share your perspective on change, as well.

1. Change is the only thing that’s guaranteed in this life.
2. Your response to change will determine the outcome.
3. Even when change is not comfortable, it can still be good.
4. Friends may no longer like you when you change. Love them anyway.
5. Change will take you out of your comfort zone and cause you to make some really hard decisions.
6. Once you overcome the adversities associated with change, you WILL be a better person.
7. Your family may not agree with the changes you make. Love them anyway.
8. People who get in your way aren’t haters, they are part of the change game to help you get better at navigating through change. Love them even more.

I’ve only listed eight of the things that stood out to me during this change process, however, I learned so much more. As you go through change, I challenge you to open your eyes to a whole new world. You just might like what you see.